Happy New Year!

We had a low-key night at home with the kiddos last night.  We played Farkle, ate pizza, and watched the ball drop in NYC at midnight.  It doesn't get any lamer than that, lol.  I have been under the weather lately, so I had to call off a trip to Raleigh to see our besties.  Major bummer.

On the surrogacy front, I had a baseline ultrasound done this past Monday (12/29) and my lining is a little thick.  This happened on last cycle's baseline too.  It turns out that this same thing has happened to several other surros using the same doctor recently.  I think he orders the ultrasound too early.  As soon as I stop birth control pills (used to control the IVF cycle), I am expected to shed my lining.  That is not an immediate thing though and the doctor must not be taking that into account.  I didn't start until 4-5 days later.  That wasn't enough time before the ultrasound.  Now I get to go back on Monday for a follow-up to make sure I am ready to begin the next phase of IVF.  As long as my lining has thinned, I will be fine.  A frozen transfer is set for 1/22 in Connecticut.  Due date will be 10/10/15, if everything goes according to plan.  Please wish my IPs luck for the new year!

Hope you all have a very happy new year!!!

Surrogacy #4

So sorry for abandoning my blog.  I am much more active on Facebook.  I tend to post photos and stories there, so I don't feel the need to blog here also.  My hope is to get back over here on the good ole blog in 2015, but I can't make any promises.

If you are curious about my recent surrogacy journey, here are the deets:

Cycle #1
11/1---transferred 1 beautiful fresh 5-day embryo in CT
11/5---received my first BFP on a home pregnancy test @ 4dp5dt
11/11---first beta results of 161 @ 10dp5dt
11/13---second beta results of 246 @ 12dp5dt
11/17---third beta results of 106 @ 16dp5dt
11/18---chemical pregnancy confirmed as beta continued dropping :(

Cycle #2
12/17---began Lupron injections for second IVF cycle
12/29---baseline ultrasound and bloodwork
1/13---lining check ultrasound and bloodwork
1/22---frozen transfer of one or two 5-day embryos in CT

The first cycle was a bust.  I was devastated and the intended parents were bummed.  It sucks to have everything look good and then for it all to turn south.  That's okay.  We have a new game plan for January and I have a very good feeling about it.  Please wish my IPs much luck for a 2015 baby (or babies). :)

BTW, I received Christmas cards with photos of my previous 3 surrobabies.  They are all so beautiful!!  Even though they aren't my kids, I am incredibly proud of them.  The pics are already prominently displayed on my fridge (along with their past Christmas photos).  I just love seeing these families everyday. :)

Hope you all had a very merry Christmas!

Here are a few more pics from my trip for transfer #1 (my mom and I visited NYC):

Let It Begin...

Well, it is official.  I am finally taking injections for the upcoming surrogacy journey as of today.  These are the little shots that go in my stomach.  The med is Lupron.  It is typically used for testicular cancer patients, but it has an off-label use for IVF because it shuts the ovaries down.  My ovaries need to be shut down so that they don't release any eggs during our IVF cycle.  Since my eggs aren't being used (an egg donor is being used instead), this is a desirable thing.  The sides effects suck because this all equates to menopause-hot flashes, headaches, increased appetite, etc.  The blue and orange pills are prenatal vitamins and the red pill is birth control.  Yes, birth control sounds weird to take when you are trying to get pregnant, but there is a good reason for it.  It helps sync my cycle with the egg donor's.  We have to be at the same point in our cycles to make this all work.  My body would reject her fertilized egg if I was in a different phase.  Transfer is set for sometime between 10/30-11/5.  It will all depend on how the cycle goes.  I am so excited for my new couple!!  Hopefully, all will go well and they will get a new baby for 2015. :)    

Whoa, WHAT?!

I have a little secret to reveal.  I know I have been absent from my blog for a long time now but I will soon be updating regularly again thanks to surrogacy journey #4.  Yep, you read that right.  If you are a Facebook friend, you have known about this for several months.  I didn't want to announce it on my blog until I knew for sure it was going to happen.  Why am I pursuing this again?  I am totally insane, I guess, lol.  To be honest, I am trying to end my surrogacy life on the best note possible.  My last surrogacy was very stressful and hard to deal with (hence the reason that there are very few posts on my blog for journey #3).  Even though that journey was rough, I made amends with the mother and I miss her muchly after all has been said and done.  The conversations that we had after the birth should have happened early in the pregnancy.  I had no idea how many life struggles she was dealing with during the IVF cycle.  If had known then, what I know now, things would have been very different and I hate that.

Anyway, I am working with a wonderful agency this time around and they have made everything go so smoothly.  All of my previous journeys were independent so it is nice letting someone else do all the work.  I am matched with an international couple and they are going to be awesome.  I begin meds on 6/27 and we are looking at transferring around 8/9.      

Bouncing Back to Normal

I was severely worried about being able to lose the weight from this last pregnancy.  The past 4 pregnancies were a breeze when it came to transitioning back to my normal size but I had a feeling this one would be tough (I am older, my metabolism is slower, and I am lazier).  Thank the Lord, I was wrong.  I know pumping increases my metabolism but it is amazing how quickly I lost the belly yet again.  I can eat whatever I want and my body still burns off all the extra calories.  I may just ride this out for a while since the fun will end once I dry up my milk.  When I end production, I have to go back to counting calories and exercising to maintain my weight.  Ugh.  That sounds terrible right now as I am about to devour a Twix bar (my constant craving along with Wendy's frosties), lol.

40 Weeks-My Due Date (3/10/13)

5 Days before Baby S was born

I never posted any pregnancy photos on my blog out of sheer laziness so I wanted to post one of the last pics that I took of my monstrous belly for posterity.  This was taken on my due date and I was HUGE.  It's hard to imagine that there was an almost 10 pound kid in there plus a placenta that was just as big as she was.  Even though I was large, it just doesn't seem possible to have all of that tucked into my body.  I am sad to see the belly all gone now but it sure does feel good to be able to breathe again.  I will post a before/after pic on Friday (that's when I will be 4 weeks post-partum).  All of the weight is gone but I still have to get everything back in shape.  The OB has me on restrictions until I see her so I cannot exercise or do anything strenuous just yet.  The anemia is kicking my butt but hopefully my energy will soon return as my iron levels go back up.

My Own Dairy...Moo!

My life is consumed by lactation at the moment.  I have been pumping a lot lately to try and establish my milk supply.  It has been a little harder this time around.  My supply isn't as good as it has been after the other 4 births.  My IPs rented me a hospital grade Medela pump today which should really help as my Medela Pump In Style is about to kick the dust.  The hope is to send out the first cooler next week.  Wish me luck!

BTW, thanks to lactation, I am only 1.5 pounds away from my normal weight.  My metabolism soars when I pump so I reap the benefits of eating what I want and dropping pounds quickly.  Love it!

Surrobaby #3's Birth Story---3/15/2013

Yes, it is true.  My uterus is no longer occupied! I know this is a bit overdue but I have had a tough recovery following the birth.  The actual delivery was easy but the events that happened afterward were a bit crazy.

After going crazy waiting for baby S to make her appearance in the final weeks, she FINALLY came into the world on Friday, 3/15 at 4:14pm. I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.  Baby girl was a HUGE 9lb., 11oz. and 22 inches long. Get this-NO STITCHES!! I am a small girl so that was completely shocking. It maybe took me 10 minutes to push her out. Everything was great up until it was realized that she wasn't breathing and I was hemorrhaging. I wrote out most of the details on Facebook so read the bottom two posts if you want to hear about my traumatic experience. Thankfully, baby girl and I are both healthy and good now. My IPs missed the birth but at least they didn't have to witness the blood bath that occurred in the delivery room. They are totally enthralled with her and she is a sweet little thing. I miss her already. 

Post #1 from Facebook (Friday night 3/15):I have had such a traumatic delivery. Baby came out blue and stunned. She wouldn't cry and we heard the OB ask for someone in respiratory to get in there quick. Clayton and I both freaked but thankfully she started to breathe on her own after a minute or so. Then we find out that her shoulder is displaced due to her huge size and my small birth canal. I felt so bad but it has been corrected. As I was watching her get cleaned up, I noticed my OB fretting while she was working on me. I was bleeding profusely and she was digging around painfully inside of me. The placenta was out (and it was humongous!) but she thought I had more pieces inside. I ended up being quickly wheeled to the OR and they did a D&C under general anesthesia. They also proceeded to put a balloon inside me to try and cut off the bleeding. When I woke up an hour later, I was just being put back in my delivery room. I had tubes and lines everywhere (still do). I started begging for water but they wouldn't let me. It was awful. They told Clayton (because I was so drugged up) that if the balloon didn't work, I would have to have some horrid procedure that involved going through my femoral artery or a hysterectomy. Egad. They began 1 of 2 blood transfusions on me. I was in a lot of pain and so they began morphine. I had been on pitocin ever since delivery to try and help shrink my uterus (still am on it). It feels like I am in labor all over again. Now I have Toradol, Lortabs, pitocin, an IV, a catheter, and the balloon with a drainage tube. It's crazy! I just now got the ok to drink liquids again and I am happy. Hope this post all made sense as I am a bit loopy, lol. Thanks everyone for the support/prayers. I feel so loved and special!! 

Post #2 from Facebook (Sunday 3/17):
Yesterday was kinda rough so I rested as much as I could. Friday night was tough as the pain meds didn't touch the contraction pain stemming from the use of pitocin and the saline-filled balloon in my uterus. Luckily, the balloon procedure worked and my uterine hemorrhage repaired itself. The worst part of the whole deal was when they removed everything. It was less than 18 hours since birthing chunky monkey and yet my OB had to stick her arm up in me to remove 2 large sponge pieces (they helped hold the contraption in place). It took her a while and she really had to dig. The pain from that was excruciating. Once those were removed, she emptied the balloon (which was expanded to about size of a large grapefruit). After deflation, it was pulled through as my cervix screamed in revolt. Heck, I may have screamed too, lol. It felt so good after that though. I finally quit having contractions and felt unpregnant again. Ahhhh, the relief. They prodded me every 15 minutes for the next hour to ensure that I wouldn't hemorrhage again and then removed my catheter. Besides 1 saline drip, I felt like a free woman without all those dang tubes and lines connected to me. After 32 hours of fun, I was allowed to eat again and things really started to get better from there. I got released to the recovery floor around 1pm yesterday. Since everything went so crazy, I didn't get to really visit with the baby until yesterday evening and I could not wait to get my hands on her. She is the sweetest thing. The IPs let Clayton and I keep her with us for a while so that we could cuddle her. It was awesome and I am so privileged to have had that honor. My IM noted how baby S knew me as soon as I got her. She had been upset and settled down immediately when I touched her face. It's crazy how babies can sense who carried them. I told IM not to worry as she will forget. Soon, she will be settled in at home and she will know exactly who her parents and sister are. So now I am getting better and may get released today. In the meantime, I am pumping colostrum to give Miss Thang some immunity before she goes home.

BTW, Clayton babied her after the birth and he kept her taken care of while waiting for the parents to arrive. They got here around 6 or 7pm and she had been born at 4:14pm. I got wheeled back into my delivery room after an hour in the OR (maybe 5:30pm?) but couldn't really visit with her. Clayton was sweet enough to carry her over to my bed and he tried to lay her beside me so that I could really get a good look at her. That was great but I was unfortunately too drugged up to hold her at that point. Regardless, it was still a special moment and I won't forget it. Seeing her made the whole journey worthwhile.

So, that's the story in a nutshell.  I am pumping milk for Miss Thang #2 and getting better with every passing day.  Last week was really hard but this week is noticeably better.  I am down 25 pounds and only 6 pounds away from my normal weight.  The magic lactation diet is in full effect.  I can eat all the junk I want and yet still shed the pounds.  It is going to be a long while before I give my dairy up, lol.  

My Birthday and an Ultrasound Surprise

Yesterday was my 34th birthday and my family made it a wonderful day.  Clayton started off by leaving me the above surprise treats in the fridge.  He had dipped marshmallows, strawberries, bananas, and potato chips in chocolate just for me.  Yum!!  I wolfed down half of the plate for breakfast.  

I went to the lab to do some blood work and then headed over to the OB to do a quick ultrasound before lunch.  The ultrasound was supposed to show the second sac getting smaller or hopefully it would be gone.  Unfortunately, we are now befuddled.  Just since last week, a baby had started to develop in it.  The reason that I say unfortunately is because it is very unlikely to survive.  It is almost 3 weeks behind baby A in growth.  It did have a heartbeat but it was only 88.  Here are the stats and they are pretty grim:

Baby A---measured at 8w4d---heart rate of 176 (she's perfect)

Baby B---measured at 5w5d---heart rate of 88

The ultrasound tech has tons of experience in a high risk clinic.  In all her years, she's never seen anything like this.  She told me before the ultrasound began that there shouldn't be anything there.  I told her that I felt like a second baby was going to pop up.  She thought that I was nuts.  Well, my intuition was correct.  It's weird, I carried twins to 14 weeks with my first surrogacy and I just knew that I had lost one before the amnio ultrasound proved it.  I was correct about that situation too.  I had no indications of what was going on either time but yet I somehow just knew both instances before they were proven.

I am now sad and frustrated.  We don't have another ultrasound until 8/20 and in the meantime, I will be extremely anxious.  Baby B will likely dissolve between now and then, according to the OB.  I hate thinking about it and I wish that we were already past this tough time.  Please pray that this happens quickly and doesn't drag out.  My nerves simply cannot handle it. 

Anyhow, back to my birthday.  I met my extended family at our local Mexican restaurant for lunch.  It was wonderful to be surrounded by all of them on my special day.  I believe that there are many pictures of me with a sombrero but I don't happen to have one to share on here.  Clayton and the boys took me to a nice restaurant called Choplin's for dinner and it was sooo good!  I had crispy duck and he had shrimp and grits.  Both entrees were utterly amazing.  

My gifts were so cool.  Clayton bought me Apple TV and the last 2 books of the Shades of Grey trilogy.  The boys got me flowers and a balloon.  My mom and dad gave me cash (they know me sooo well, lol).  My sister-in-law Steph sent me a new pretty jewel pop for my Kameleon ring.  I loved everything!  My birthday rocked, to say the least. :)

Introducing...

one beautiful baby girl at 7 weeks, 1day gestation (lovingly referred to as Miss Thang #2). <3

My awesome IM flew in to Charlotte on Sunday.  We had a wonderful time catching up with each other.  Gosh, I wish we lived closer.  She is so cool and I swear that I could chat with her forever.  I am a very lucky gal to be matched with someone that I like so much. :)

We woke up bright and early yesterday to get ready for the ultrasound.  We made a quick pit stop at Starbucks and then headed over to the OB.  Our first appointment was for the ultrasound and that is where we learned that there is a perfect little gal growing inside me.  She has a heart rate of 145 and her measurements were exactly where they should be.  Yay!!  There was a second sac but it was empty.  I have to go back for a repeat ultrasound on 8/2 (my birthday) so that the OB can check on the empty sac.  They want to make sure that it doesn't affect the baby's development.  Hopefully, the sac will simply absorb and everything will be right on track.  Isn't she the cutest blob you have every seen? lol

BTW, we have an awesome OB practice.  They are so great about being thorough with everything that they do.  Their genuine interest in us and the way that they try to get to know us on a personal level is comforting. I know that they will provide the best care for us.  It's so amazing to find doctors/nurses that will spend a lot of time answering questions and not rush us through appointments.  Our sonographer spent a good amount of time doing the ultrasound and explaining everything on the screen.  She used to work in a high risk clinic and she is extremely versed on interpreting ultrasounds.  We saw a nice CNM for our first prenatal appointment and she spent 45 minutes chatting with us and checking me out.  I feel really good about this practice and I can't wait to meet all of the OBs.  They do not allow anyone to claim a particular doctor so we will eventually see and meet everyone there.  I expect that they will all be knowledgeable and nice to work with. 

Upcoming Ultrasound

I have been crazy busy over the past few weeks so I haven't had much time to update.  I tend to post on Facebook more than my blog, especially when I am away from my laptop.  Anyway, the ultrasound is set for Monday at 8am.  After that, I have my first OB appointment.  My wonderful IM is going to fly into Charlotte tomorrow and stay the night with us so that she can go to the appointments with me.  I can't wait!!  I will update you all as soon as I get back to my computer.  Hopefully, I will have a photo to post too.  What do you guess that we will see, one girl or two girlies??  My guess is one healthy baby girl.  I personally think that the overachiever embryo ate her sister for lunch, lol.

Here's a recap of the beta (hcg) tests:

296------10dp6dt (or 16dpo)

684------12dp6dt (or 18dpo)

5967-----19dp6dt (or 25dpo)

28,871---26dp6dt (or 32dpo)

Abbreviations:

dp=days past

dt=day transfer

dpo=days past ovulation (I did not ovulate since this was IVF and the babies were not created using my own eggs, but a dpo equivalent can be determined as if this were a natural pregnancy by adding the number of days past transfer to the age of the embryos)

Positively

So, I have been getting faint positives since yesterday morning.  I waited until today to take a digital because my hcg was too low to see the beautiful word "pregnant" yesterday.  Awesome, huh?  My IPs are thrilled beyond words and I am so happy for them.  We have blood tests on 7/3 and 7/5 to determine my actual hcg numbers (beta tests) and then an ultrasound will be scheduled around 2 weeks after to determine if one or both girls hung around.  Please pray for one girl as twins is not really ideal.  They are really hoping for a singleton pregnancy and so am I.  

2 Beautiful Little Girls

These are the 2 embryos that I am currently carrying for my wonderful IPs.  #2 is a total over-achiever.  I know most of you don't know anything about IVF but let me tell you, this particular embryo is spectacular.  She looks a lot larger than her sister because she has advanced to the next stage of bursting out of her shell.  #1 is a great embryo too but she hadn't broken out yet as of transfer this past Saturday.  These girls are 6.5 day embryos which is fabulous.  Most IVFers pray for 5 dayers because that is what is known as blast stage.  If they can get to that point, they are usually very strong and healthy.  My IPs couldn't have asked for better odds as these girls exceeded the 5 day mark and grew exponentially before transfer.  Please pray for my IPs as I hope to be carrying at least one of these girls for the long haul.

BTW, these girls were created back in July 2008 so they have been frozen for almost 4 years.  It was amazing that they both survived the thaw and then continued to thrive afterward.  They are tough little cookies! :)

Waiting for Embryo Transfer in CA

Hey guys, here's a quick update on my latest surrogacy journey.  They are going to thaw the last 2 embryos that my IPs have today.  Both are little girls and we hope that they make the thaw.  It's all so nerve-wracking!  Our transfer is set at 10am Pacific time so that is 1pm to all my southern friends/family.  I would greatly appreciate it if you would please say a quick prayer for my IPs and the procedure.  They want nothing more than to have a sibling for their daughter.

I changed my ticker above to reflect a pregnancy because that is what I will be considered until a blood test could prove otherwise.  If you are wondering how I am 2 weeks and 6 days pregnant before I even have the embryos transferred into me, here is an explanation:


In a normal cycle, you don't ovulate until around day 14 (2 weeks after you start day 1 of your period) and that is when conception occurs. By the time that you know that you are pregnant, you most likely just missed day 1 of your next cycle (about 2 weeks after conception). That makes you 4 weeks and 1 day pregnant even though you really only conceived 2 weeks and a day before your missed period. Due to never knowing exactly when conception occured because everyone's period lengths are different, the due date is always calculated from the 1st day of your last period. With IVF, we know exactly when conception occured but it still has to be calculated with the addition of 14 days before the egg retrieval.  These embryos were frozen at 6 days old so you add the 6 days to the initial first 2 weeks.  Clear as mud, right? LOL 

A Pain In My Butt (Literally!)

4 different types of syringes (from top to bottom):

1) Lupron-injected subcutaneously in the tummy area to shut down ovary production so that my body doesn't ovulate (my eggs are unneeded) 

2) Progesterone in oil-injected intramuscularly in the rear to make my body think it is pregnant as progesterone is the pregnancy hormone

3) Delestrogen-injected intramuscularly in the rear to boost estrogen, which makes the uterine lining nice and fluffy for the embryo

4) Lovenox-injected subcutaneously in the tummy to prevent blood clots by thinning the blood

In addition to all those injections, I have to take a bunch of other oral meds.  It's crazy how many meds it takes to trick my body into thinking that it pregnant.  Without these meds, my body would reject the embryo as a foreign object.  Regardless of what an ordeal all the medications are, it is well worth it to help bring a child into the world for my awesome IPs.  We are transferring their last two embryos (both are girls) on 6/23 in San Francisco.  They are frozen so this will be referred to as a FET which stands for "frozen embryo transfer".  Wish us luck!!

My meds arrived this past Saturday-5/19/12

I know, I know...

Life has been moving so quickly lately.  I  haven't felt like blogging at all lately.  I have been working on tons of projects around the house.  Between that, Spring break, baseball practices and games x 2, and Easter, I just haven't been able to keep up with anything.  Thankfully, things are slowly getting more organized and I find myself being less stressed out.

Surrogate journey #3 is officially in full swing.  We signed the contracts last week and now the lawyer crap is over.  I fly out to San Francisco on 5/9 for my consult appointment with the RE (reproductive endocrinologist). I will leave early that morning and come back on a red eye flight.  My awesome IPs (intended parents) bought me a first class ticket for the return flight so hopefully I will be comfortable enough to sleep.  Aren't they great?!  As long as everything goes smoothly at the appt., we will likely schedule the tentative transfer date.  My guess is that it will be in late June, which happens to be around the same time we transferred their first baby (7/6/08). Their birthdays will be really close.  Anyway, I can't wait to start injections and get this party started!

Surrogacy journey #3 is underway!

I am thrilled to be jumping into the world of surrogacy once more.  Surrobaby #2 will hopefully be getting a sibling.  The parents have 2 frozen embryos left from our last cycle.  We hope that at least one can survive the thaw and snuggle into my uterus for 9 months.  Both embryos are girls so baby girl would be getting a sister/sisters if this works.  The intended parents (IPs) need lots of prayers and good thoughts as my IM is flying to San Francisco on Friday for her initial consultation.  I can't wait to begin this journey again with this awesome family and hopefully be birthing a new baby for them around the end of the year!!

Surrogacy #3 Update

Everyone keeps asking about surrogacy #3.  Well, I have great news.  My IM is going in for her initial consult in January.  Providing that everything goes smoothly, we are looking at a transfer around March 2012.  There are 2 frozen embryos from the last cycle that we hope will work.  They are both girls so surrobaby #2 would be getting a little sister or sisters.  I can't wait to begin all the crazy drugs and getting things cooking. :)

Party Ideas, Cake Decorating, Surrogacy, Etc.

This past week was spent freaking out over making my first wedding cake. I obsessed and was scared that it wouldn't turn out well. I prayed for God to guide me and to help me complete my task. I was happy with it when all was said and done, thank the Lord! Clayton and I delivered it a couple of hours before the ceremony. He drove like a snail while I sat in the very back of the 4-Runner holding it in a round sled, lol. Clayton put cushioning in the sled and then placed the cake (which was on a thick board) in it. I held the sled in my lap and gripped the sides of the sled so that I could control the cake when we hit bumps and made turns. The edges of the sled were easy to grip and made it so that I didn't have to touch the cake board. All I could think about was how the cake would slam into my face if he had to brake suddenly, lol. I now have some other people interested in wedding cakes but I don't know if I can handle all that stress. We'll see.

{EDITED TO ADD}I forgot to mention that a little girl ran her finger through the front of the cake before anyone even saw it. Ugh. I was luckily able to repair the gashes before it was put on display. But guess what? She managed to do it again before the bride and groom saw it. I can't believe that everyone thought that it was funny as I went to repair the cake again in front of the wedding party. She managed to mess the front of the cake up twice before pictures were taken. I was able to smooth it out both times but that was ridiculous.

Emerson has a birthday coming up in November. I want to throw him a big party but I can't quite figure out what I want to do. We originally were going to hire a magician that Clayton personally knows but he doesn't want to do it. I don't know if I should look for another one or just scrap that idea all together. Any cool ideas that aren't hokey? I really want a cool party but not a cheesy theme like we have done in the past (Transformers, Thomas, Cars, etc.). Basically, I want his stuff to be homemade and not pre-printed character stuff. He kind of wants Spongebob and though that makes me cringe, I could work with it if I have to.

I finally broke down and signed up for the Wilton fondant/gum paste class a couple of weeks ago. I have been putting it off because of how expensive it is. The class kit plus the class fee isn't even the half of it. It's all the other crap I had to buy to go along with it. I got most of my tools 50% or 40% off so it wasn't too bad. Poor Clayton had to be dragged into Michael's and Hobby Lobby several times so that I could get him to buy an item for me with a coupon. If he went, I was able to buy 2 items with coupons rather than one since we each did our own transactions. I wish that they would let you use more than one coupon at a time so that I wouldn't have to drag him with me. Anyway, I have all my stuff ready to go and my first class is on Thursday night. I can't wait!

I had someone recently say to me that they couldn't give a baby up. I have heard that same statement many times before and I cringe whenever I hear it. I have never "gave a baby up". I would never give my own baby up. The babies that I have carried via surrogacy were never mine to begin with. They weren't genetic to me AT ALL. In fact, they were very different from me. #1 was a cute blonde boy with blue eyes and Jewish heritage. #2 was a beautiful girl with dark eyes, skin and hair because her parents are from India. I never felt connected to those kids after their births. They weren't my babies and I knew that from the start. I get how some people think that carrying the babies would make them feel close maternally but I barely felt maternal with my own kids when they were in the womb, lol. I guess that is why I am a good surrogate carrier. I just don't get attached. It's funny, after the births of my surrobabies, I felt completely detached. I can't even wrap my mind around the idea that I carried them in my womb once I see them. It's like I forget the whole gestation period because I immediately see them as their parent's children after the births. I don't know if what I am saying makes sense but I get it and that's what really matters.

Surrogacy and Disney Cruise #2

I am close to embarking on my 3rd surro journey. Stay tuned for upcoming details!!

We have already booked our next Disney cruise for the eastern Caribbean for 1/29/11-2/5/11 and we are super excited! The first day just happens to be Hayden's birthday also. It may have to move though if I am pregnant because you can't be past 24 weeks on the ship. That would be fine by us because then we would go even earlier. In that instance, we are looking at October 23 of this year. Whoo hoo!!