God Bless My Family....

This post is extremely difficult for me to write but I feel it is a good way for me to cope with the recent loss of a close family member. Terry is my cousin Sheila's husband. I have known him since I was a small child. He used to be at my Aunt Judy's house (she kept me during the week) all the time when they were two young teens in love. I saw them go to prom, I saw him leave to join the Marines and I was in their wedding as a 5 year old flower girl. My cousin Christine's (Sheila's sister) husband, Jeff, told me that when I was a little girl that Terry was my favorite person. I had a hard time believing that because Terry is such a hard person to get to know. I don't remember much about him from way back when. Well, once I had my boys and I saw how much he enjoyed playing with them, I got it. He has a knack for being a fun-loving soul with little kids. My boys and Christine's boys can always count on having a good time as long as Terry is there to entertain. Speaking of entertainment, he can always make everyone in the room laugh. He is a total smart-butt and has such a way with sarcasm. He really could crack me up at times.

Thanks to him, I have 2 wonderful cousins-Natalie(22) and Rachel(16). They are both beautiful girls that I have the pleasure of being related to. I miss them very much since I have moved here to CO but I feel lucky to have been in NC long enough to have seen them both grow up. My heart goes out to them and their Mother.

I can't believe that I got that call this morning. I wish I could just forget it. This is definitely a wake-up call as Terry was only 44. He is the second person in my family to die young from a heart attack (I had a 43 year old uncle on the the other side of my family pass from a heart attack back in 1997). It just makes me realize how mortal we all really are. The really bad thing in this situation is that we thought that he was okay. He had been sick the week before and went to the ER on Friday to find out that he had a couple of heart attacks. They put in 2 stints and everything should have been fine. Heck, he was a lucky man to have survived those. He was feeling better and recovering well from what I had last heard. When asked by a nurse what he would like for lunch he replied that he didn't see a whopper on the menu, lol. That's so him to be a smart alec like that. I am sure everyone chuckled. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse last night and he passed this morning. This just leaves me to ponder "Why?". He wasn't fat, didn't smoke and didn't drink. He was too young to go so early.

I am trying to get clearance to fly home. I am unfortunately really far into my pregnancy and I have had complications to boot. My OB said that she will clear me as long as I don't have any painful contractions (I am currently on Procardia to help relax my uterus) and if I am not further dialated on Thursday. I will just have to wait and see. Hayden's birthday is on that day too so I will try to make it extra special that day if I get to leave over the weekend. We are planning to take him out on that night for some fun but Saturday was going to be all his too since we were going to hopefully meet with some family for a little party. Now Clayton may just have to be in charge of it all.

Sorry I couldn't bring myself to write in the past tense throughout the beginning of my post but my emotions are too raw to fully accept Terry's passing. I have never felt so far from my family as I do right now. :(